How much screen time should my child have?
There is no doubt that screens & technology are a tool, a resource, and impact all of our lives in positive ways. Since the early 2000s, we’ve excitedly welcomed texting, the internet, and social media into our daily lives. At the time, there was little to no research about how it would affect us, our health, or our children’s health & developing brains. We have some research now. We’ve seen a tremendous increase in anxiety and depression since 2010-2015, and it keeps increasing.
“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.”
Why does it matter?
Research has shown us a steep increase in anxiety and depression since 2010, which correlates with when social media became a household norm. Our daily and weekly technology use has dramatically increased since then, which means our face to face interactions have significantly decreased. Children, teenagers, and adults need face to face play and conversation to learn body language, facial expressions, tone of voice, communication skills, and problem-solving skills, to name a few. An hour spent on a screen after school is an hour lost at building a friendship and learning social skills. This steady decline in face to face interactions has led to more anxiety in social situations and depression from a decreased feeling of connection and life satisfaction.
A childhood filled with free play, exploration, and allowing children to do dangerous things carefully is more likely to encourage your child to become a confident, competent young adult with lower levels of anxiety and depression. “One of the toughest obstacles is the parents’ own anxiety about letting a child play out of sight (like in a neighbor’s fenced in yard, at the nearby park, etc.), unchaperoned by an adult. This takes practice, but the ultimate pleasure of being able to trust your child outweighs the temporary anxieties of letting go.”
-The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt
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Based on The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt, screen time for infants and young toddlers should be extremely limited to video calls with family members/friends or watching educational videos with a caregiver.
Parents: Learn about and use parental controls on your devices. Turn off screens during family meals and outings. Avoid using screens as pacifiers, babysitters, or to stop tantrums. Turn off screens at least 1 hour before bedtime.
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Based on The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt, children under 6 should be limited to 1 hour of noneducational screen time per week day and 3 hours per weekend day.
Parents: Get familiar with parental controls available on your devices. Provide clear boundaries about acceptable use of technology. Designate times of the day that screens can be used, like only between 8am-6pm, only while doing her hair, etc. Talk to your child about places in your home that are no-device zones, like bedrooms and bathrooms. Turn off screens at least 1 hour before bedtime.
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Based on The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt, no more than 2 hours should be allowed for children ages 6-12. This boundary will vary based on the young person’s individual traits, like age, emotional maturity, physical and mental health, analytical skills, critical thinking, etc. The content (social media, games, video games, texting, chats, TV, etc.) and context (time of day, multitasking, etc.) should also be considered to create personal, age-appropriate boundaries for technology use.
For younger children in this category, the content should be more educational.
Parents: Get familiar with parental controls available on your devices. Provide clear boundaries about acceptable use of technology (Is any social media allowed? What if it’s meant for kids, like Kids Messenger or Youtube Kids?) . Designate times of the day that screens can be used, like only while doing your daughter’s hair in the morning, only from 4-5pm while dinner is being prepared, etc. Talk to your child about places in your home that are no-device zones, like bedrooms and bathrooms. Turn off screens at least 1 hour before bedtime. It is essential to be able to control the content your child is consuming. Show how much you care about their safety on devices by setting a rule that parents can ask for the device at any time to see what they’re doing. With older kids, begin building trust with the same method.
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Based on The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt, adolescents could be encouraged to have more autonomy with their device, whether you’re deciding to give them a device, provide internet access, light social media, etc. Screen time should still be limited to less than 3 hours per day, and building your child’s phone habits is paramount.
Parents: Set boundaries regarding the phone being charged nightly outside of their bedroom. Many adults have developed the routine of charging on the bedside table and immediately scrolling upon waking up. Do not let your adolescent develop this habit. Get familiar with parental controls available on your devices. Provide clear boundaries about acceptable use of technology. Designate times of the day that screens can be used, like only between 7am-7pm. Ensure electronics are not being used an hour before bedtime. Talk to your adolescent about places in your home that are no-device zones, like bedrooms and bathrooms.
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Based on The Anxious Generation, by Jonathan Haidt, social media has impacted our teenager’s mental health in awful ways. While it connects them to a larger pool of friends, for girls it also increases their literal constant comparisons. Their self esteem takes a dive when they have access to social media. For boys, their constant access to the internet for video games and pornography has made addictions increase tremendously.
Parents: Allow your teenager to experience their early adolescent years. Set the boundary early on that social media will be allowed at age 16. Collectively as parents, we can set this standard because no one else- schools, the government- is going to protect our teenagers in this way. If it becomes the norm for 13, 14, and 15 year olds to not have social media, they will not feel isolated, left out, or weird for not having it. Let them live their teenage life a little longer without constant comparisons and addiction-habits building. Let them build their own self worth and healthy habits before you give them the temptation of an alternative.
Haidt, J. (2024). The Anxious Generation. Penguin Press.
